Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize