I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
