What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
