as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
