i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
