nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize