You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
