He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
