"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
