ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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