So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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