i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
