sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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