So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
