OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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