At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
