spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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