sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just found a bag of teeth...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
