Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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