NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
