Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
