The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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