there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
