and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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