haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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