Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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