i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
