She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize