I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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