I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize