ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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