so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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