So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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