So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
