Sry I called you an 8
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
