Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
