I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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