My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
