dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
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