That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
