What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
