That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Randomize
