Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
