But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
