Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
