I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
