woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
