You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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