GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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