But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
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