Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
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We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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