She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
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It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
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The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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