McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
