doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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