Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize