So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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