toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
