Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
