I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
being pregnant is like rehab
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment