So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water