okay pat passed out under dana's car
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
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I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
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We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.