i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
