if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
how does that bad decision feel?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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