I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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