either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
