So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
