She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
