Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
