I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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