He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
