Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
