Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
