Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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