dude i'm inner monologue high
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
