You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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