So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
